New Year's Resolution

So far my NY resolution was to write at least once a week. Well we see that I have fallen off the wagon because its the third week of Jan. and here is the first one of the year. I am going to try and not let you guys down, but shit.... its been one helluva month at the old J.O.B.

So here we go... I am back on the dating scene. No not because I have recently broken up or anything. I guess turning 26 in Dec. made me see the light, I guess its time to grow up a little bit and see what the world has out there.

It all started one night when I went out with Sassy and those texty pants of hers. It was the night of my outrageous birthday and well good ol Benny decided to call. Well in all honesty.... I was fucking wasted! I was celebrating my second annual 25th birthday that I planned myself! Needles to say after a few different phone calls, I went on a blind date. Why in the hell did I subject my self to it, hind sight is 20/20. So I am set up on this date with Benny. First of all He's 28, and he calls himself Benny, not Ben but Benny. I thought you shortened shit like that after the age of 10. So I agree to meet him at a local watering hole for a drink or two.

Now I have to tell you I was under the impression that he was 5'6".... not too bad I mean I am a short one myself... 5'3". So ok, I show up first and get the table. I order a Miller Lite with lime and I guess that I sit there for about 15 minutes by myself. Now this is the part of the story that you need to know that a friend of mine was sitting at the bar just down from the table. She came along to make sure that he wasn't weird or didn't shoot me in the back of the head. What good friends I have!!! Well Benny (not Ben) showed up finally wearing a nice maroon sweater. e orders a beer as well and food because he says he doesn't drink on an empty stomach. I think it's because he is all of 5' fucking 2"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Short ass.... liar, you aren't 5'6"! With in the first five minutes of the "date" he makes sure that he informs me, and shows me, that he is wearing a shirt that says "I'm with stupid" and has the arrow that points to the side too! WOW, how fucking impressive slapdick! Needless to say I am far from impressed.

The night goes on and he tells me about his condo in downtown and the fact that he just bought a new BMW. What in the hell is it with guys that want to flash their money by telling about the expensive cars they drive. Seems like every guy in Dallas either has a BMW, Lexus, or Mercedes. He probably drives a damn Ford Escort hatchback! Well we start talking about what one looks for in a potential person. He asks first and of course I say the normal, and also inform him that the people I date have to be hilarious. I mean I crack myself up! So my turn.... the first answer out of his mouth, " BIG BOOBS!" Really, I mean really? He actually said that!!! Well the night goes on for a few more minutes when he starts to order me mixed drinks after I said I am the beer kinda girl! No, I am not going to get drunk and go home with you Benny!!! I mean you would have to sit in a small child's car seat. Do you need a phonebook to sit on as you drive so you can see over the steering wheel?!?!?

After we finished our drinks I told Benny that I would be meeting a friend (little did he know she was watching the whole date), and the kicker happened. He says, "Well I have a question for you, but it may cross the line." My response, "Well I think you jumped over the line with the boob comment, so go ahead and ask!!" To this he says, "Do you want to like go outside and make out!?" What the fuck!?!? Let's be rational about this.... i told him no thanked him for the drinks walked him to the door and gave the side hug that says I'm not interested and then told him that my friend was inside waiting on me.

For the next two weeks I received phone calls from him. Even up until last week I was getting texts. No dude get the damn point, I am not interested in midgets!!!!