Let me preface this story by telling you I HATE STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!
Today after an all night drinking party with some friends, in which I won several games of beer pong (go me!), I walked into my local Seven Eleven. Confident in the fact that I looked like death warmed over, and probably reeked of beer I strolled leisurely to the back of the store to get my daily Lo-Carb Monster in high hopes that the pounding headache I had would subside a little. After finding the XXL can of energy, I strolled up to the check out and placed it on the counter to be scanned in. Then in my weakened painful voice I said, "Can I also get a pack of Marlboro Lights in a box as well?" To some of you this is disgusting, but hell I had a headache and it needed to go away! The hangover cure of all hangover cures! The clerk looked at me after putting the little box of treasures down, and in his best broken English said, "You do know that these aren't good for you, don't you?"
STOP IT! Alert the media, stop the presses..... holy fucking shit, really?!?!?! OMG, is that the reason for the Surgeon General's Warning on the side of that little pack? I have always wondered why that was posted there! Shut your fucking face! So I looked at the nice and insightful clerk and said, "Hmmmmm, really? You don't say. You think you could go ahead and ring up a lighter for those as well?" I paid out and then left.
So to the man out there who was so concerened with my health, thank you! I can now say my life is complete after you nice little news flash. Really though, just learn to keep your stpid comments to a minimum!
6 comments:
Yikes, you'd think the guy didn't want to make any money!
But I hope the cure worked and you're feeling a little better today.
Mel-
Yes i am good togo for another day.... ready for themargarita party tonight!
BB-Is it time for an intervention? I can call that show, you know. I'm a good friend. I'm just sayin...
Is he trying to put himself out of business or would he just be "special?"
Smoke up, baby. I don't care if you kill yourself. But how's about a BJ before you croak?
Asshat. You should have asked him if he knows how dangerous it is to work in a convenience store, ya know with all the crazies with guns these days.
I think the whole you smelling funky thing and looking like hell paired with the mention of guns would have been quite effective.
Ah well, next time, there's always another party.
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